A Powerful Ripple

We have been so positively blessed with overwhelming support from our families and friends in the last few weeks.  It has meant so much to us to know that so many are praying for us, thinking about us and reading my words here.  We are truly grateful to those who have reached out to us and for us.

But today, I ask for a different kind of support and maybe a different prayer.  I ask that you will think of the other family members affected by the life and death of the angel that I am carrying. I ask that you say a prayer for each of them.

You see, Chris and I aren't the only ones hurting. I've been so wrapped up in my own grief and in trying to survive these last few weeks that I haven't really thought as much about everyone else as maybe I should have.  There are grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who are hurting right now.  They, too, are mourning the loss of this child and struggling to watch their loved ones in so much pain.  They are also grappling with a profound feeling of helplessness because there just is so little that can be done right now.

I ask this especially for the sake of the grandparents.  It has occurred to me in the last few days, through reading some pretty powerful blogs and through some soul-searching of my own, that this is very likely as hard on each of the grandparents as it is for us as the parents.  On top of the grief that naturally comes along with a death that takes a loved one much too soon, they have to watch their own children struggle with one of the most unimaginable pains a human being can suffer.

I think of how excited Mom was, before the diagnosis, to be telling people that this would be her eighth grandchild.  I think of the amused look on Dad's face when Tori unwittingly told him about "the baby in Mommy's tummy" far sooner than we intended to share.  I think of Mike's excitement when he found out he would be getting yet another grandbaby so soon after the arrival of granddaughter number three in November. 

Then I think about the pain and devastation that was so obvious from all three when we had to tell them about the diagnosis.  I think about the tears that I heard in each voice and the strength that each one has struggled to summon forth when they knew that their children needed it more than ever.  I think about how hard it must have been for my Dad to have to call my siblings because I knew I couldn't do it that day - although I am eternally grateful that he was able to do that for us. 

I have been selfish the last few weeks and wanted them to be there to support us, but I realize now that they need support just the same that we do.  This isn't easy for anyone and it isn't fair to ask anyone in these circumstances to "be strong" for the sake of anyone else.  We all need supported sometimes and sometimes we need to be there to support others.  Even the strongest tree will fall if it isn't permitted to bend a little when the wind blows.