Friday, February 22, 2013

The Faith of a Child

One of the questions that we have been asked most in these last few days is "How are the girls doing?" Honestly, we have been blessed with children who are wise beyond their years and have brought us more comfort than we ever thought possible.  And, for now, they truly seem to be doing pretty well.

Throughout this journey, we have truly tried to be as honest as possible with the girls on a level that was developmentally appropriate for each of them.  I have no idea what the "right way" to do all of this is, but judging by the feedback we've gotten from them, I can say that I'm at least pretty sure we haven't done it the "wrong way." 

The basic approach has been to let them both know that the baby had a boo-boo on his head and that meant that he was going to die (we have been VERY careful not to ever tell the girls that he would be "sleeping" because that is just inviting nighttime issues).  They knew that he would go to Heaven to be with God, Grandma, and all the balloons that they have accidentally sent sailing toward the clouds over the last four years.  They knew that they would get to meet him at the hospital but that we probably wouldn't be able to bring him home. 

Lately we have been trying to explain the concept of the funeral.  We've let them know that we'll get to go to church and say some prayers for Baby Aaron so that we can talk to God about keeping him safe and snuggling him for us.  They seem okay with this and both girls are thrilled at getting to talk to God about their baby.

Sometimes we wonder if all the preparation is sinking in and we just aren't sure how much the girls hear, understand and retain.  As it turns out...apparently they are listening more than we realize...

Tori saw the car that Chris built sitting on the kitchen table this morning and asked about it.  So we explained that we were going to take it with us today so we could send it with baby brother when he went up to Heaven.  Her response?  "But he's already in Heaven with are you going to get it to him??"  Huh...the kid has a point, I suppose. We went on to explain that he is indeed an angel now, but we would send the toy up there for him to play with in Heaven.

Then Abby saw his blanket sitting on our bed from last night.  She jumped up on the bed and began digging around in it, demanding, "Baby's banket?? In nere? In nere?  Baby in nere??"  So we explained that, no it was just his blanket and he was up in Heaven.  To which she nearly shouted, "Heaven!!  God!! God!!  Baby Heaven. Ok." 

So... to answer the question...I think the girls are gonna be all right.  They seem to be aware of all that is going on but certainly don't seem to grieving about it in the way that adults do.  They can recognize that we are sad and seem to sense some of what we are feeling, but they really don't show it outwardly much right now.  They ask their questions, get their answers and go on with what they were doing.

For them, they are sad that their brother isn't here with them but seem to know and truly believe that Aaron is safe and happy in Heaven with God.  Sometimes I wonder why we worry so much about the kids, because at times like these, the faith of a child is what we should all strive to attain.


  1. This is so beautiful. We lost our son Levi four months ago,due to an umbilical cord accident,11 days before our due date. We have a 2 year old daughter Addison and she dealt with his death just the same as your daughter. We have his blanket and she grabs it and says,baby,heaven,Jesus,it's ok. She has honestly been my ultimate healing throughout this all. God knows what we need to get through things. I have read quite a few of your blogs and I want to say thank you to you for sharing what you've gone through. I have cried,laughed,smiled,and want to hug you. I'm sorry you went through what you went through,but am thankful we have e/o to help e/o through it together. Your son is so beautiful. I know our babies,Aaron and Levi,are happy in heaven and we can see them again one day,which gives us the ultimate hope of o r future!
    love and prayers sent your way. -Angie

    1. My heart and my hugs definitely go out to your and family. I am so glad to know that I have helped, at least in some small way, in the words that I've shared. As you said about Addison, our girls have definitely been an incredible source of strength and healing for us. I'm certain Levi is a handsome little guy too and it is so comforting to know that they are safe and happy. Love and prayers to you too! ~Katie