Monday, January 28, 2013


I had a really great post written in my head last night while I was working...vacuuming is actually a great task for thinking.  Unfortunately, by the time I sat down today to write it was completely gone.  I can not even remember the topic - all I remember is that I was debating with myself about whether or not I really wanted to write it, but decided that it would be another one of those that would be really helpful for other mothers down the road.  Hopefully, it'll come back to me sometime.

In the meantime, I've been thinking a lot this week about how blessed we are with the doctor who has cared for me and all three of our children during and following pregnancies.  We had an appointment last week and it just further emphasized how fortunate we are; we've always known that my doctor and the staff in that office are a good fit for us, but I don't think we really got a chance to appreciate it fully until this time around.

I have always appreciated that Dr. N has a very no-nonsense approach to care: she doesn't waste my time with weird chit-chat but she has always taken the time to answer my questions.  She has also always been very receptive to accommodating my preferences with each pregnancy (basically, a "leave me alone until I need you" approach to childbirth).  In the five years that I've been seeing her, Chris and I have both come to value her very highly and trust her with my care and that of our children.

What has been so touching with this pregnancy is that she seems genuinely sad for us, not just as patients, but as parents and as people.  She comes in and sits down to talk with us at each visit.  She made it very clear in an early appointment that they did not intend to treat this any differently than any other pregnancy; we were still to call if we had concerns and not hesitate to come in if we felt the need.  I don't even know if she realized how much that simple sentence meant to me and how much I needed to hear it at the time. 

At last week's appointment, through chatting with one of the receptionists, we learned that the office is going through a lot of changes - retirements, departures, hires, leaves, etc - on top of the fact that they are a busy place to begin with.  You wouldn't have known it from our visit. . . Tori has been asking to see her baby on the TV screen again, so I asked Dr. N's fabulous regular nurse (who we have also gotten to know in the last five years) if it would be possible to squeeze in a sneak peek on the ultrasound. She replied with "There are just some things that we are never too busy for and that's one of them."  So Tori and Abby got to see baby sister on the screen...she was apparently messing with us because she had one little arm across her face so that all you could see was eyes peeking out.  Too cute.

It's a shame that not everyone is able to receive such incredible care at a time when it really can make all the difference.  I have seen so many other moms who have said that their doctor didn't explain the diagnosis, didn't support their decisions, declined confirmation ultrasounds, encouraged terminations when they weren't wanted and made these grieving mothers feel that the lives of their unborn children were simply not worth their time.  There is no excuse for that.  If you don't feel that your physician is working for you and doing what is in your best interest...find a new one.  You deserve that.

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